Shattered
Hey y’all!
Story time! Have you ever felt that awful panic and instant hot flash when you know you've royally messed up? Sometimes you get that heat coming over you when you’ve done something you know you shouldn’t have. Like literally someone just told you DONT DO THAT! I’m sure we all have in different instances. I have a moment that truly stands out... also I have pictures. Let me set the scene. I’m at my boujee friend's house playing soccer inside with 4 friends, and her parents aren't home. There are vases everywhere and many other fancy items. We have been told plenty of times no soccer inside, no running, oh and we are about 17 or 18 at the time, so we aren't children. We think everything is under control, and suddenly you hear a giant crash. We broke a giant vase. Now, as a teenager, I had no idea how much that cost. Now as an adult, I can tell you it was probably EXPENSIVE! We immediately get that hot flash feeling, start to panic, think of how to hide it, and we also had to get our friend to the airport that evening. We were on a time crunch! We decided super gluing it was going to be our best option. Three friends got to the floor, super gluing and holding the vase in place, hoping it dried before anyone got home. It was stressful, but we got it done, and we turned it to where you could hardly tell, or so we thought.
My friend's mom gets home and we confessed out of guilt. We told her what happened and that we would pay for a new one. She just stared at us with a shocked face and laughed at us. She wished she had seen us trying to glue it and forgave us, saying it was ok and things happen.
Whoa. Major grace! I look back and wish we had just called her to tell the truth and avoid the hour of panic. I wish we had realized we were harder on ourselves than she was going to be. I'm also thankful for that smile and grace she gave us that lifted all the weight off of our shoulders!
When we mess up in life, are depressed, anxious, and ashamed, it's so easy to go in on ourselves. We go in so hard knowing we would never be this hard on anyone if they messed up with us. I know that's not just me! Just as we extend grace to others when they hurt and disappoint us, God extends it and more to us. We don't have to endure that panic alone, and we don't have to be so hard on ourselves. He gets it!
I used to think all that hurt or guilt was a thick wall between God and me. It's not. He bears the weight of our sins and forgives us time and time again. He is waiting with open arms and a smile no matter how badly we mess up or distance ourselves. He craves a relationship with us in the middle of all the broken pieces and the things you use as super glue to try and stay together. He says it's ok.
What’s on your heart this week that’s weighing you down? Are you hurting? Are you grieving for a friend or for our country? Feel your feelings, alllll of them, receive His grace and ask for joy. Let us pray with you this week! Reach out to us on Instagram if you need prayer or simply want to vent. We love you so much!
Jesse and Marissa
